just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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