DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
