Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize