So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
