so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize