Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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