I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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