i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
