He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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