similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
