Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
