Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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