I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
4 words: hood of his car
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
