Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
