Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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