I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
