he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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