He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
