Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
