i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
