imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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