The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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