Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize