If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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