I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize