Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
