I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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