help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
