There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just want to make out with him forever
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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