Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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