She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
