i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
