I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
