just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
