This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
