It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
