Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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