Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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