question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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