god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
