Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
