well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
