Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
