Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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