After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
