Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
