when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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