We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
