yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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