he told me I talked like a deaf person
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
