Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
