i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
did i just pee glitter
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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