Have you finally orgasmed yet?
one might say we're banned from that church
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
