Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Walk of Shame today included voting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize