Screwed.edu
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
