theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
