Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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