I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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