That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
