Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
well you can't waste a boner
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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