please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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