New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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