Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
