Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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