I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
