Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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