you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize