i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
