Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
