I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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